Five Hymns of Envy
by NickeltheRed
Summary: Five times Sesshōmaru actually feels envious over Rin. {Featuring SessRin; implied canon couples. Post-Manga and Asette}.


**I. Ginta**

Summer rolls around again when Sesshōmaru returns to visit her.

Rin is fourteen now...perhaps she's closer to fifteen, or so they estimate. Not even Rin paid much attention to her age as a child and had lost track of time during their travels. But she's thriving well. She's still a pupil studying healing herbs under Lady Kagome while practicing some very basic blade-training with the Demon Slayer on occasion.

Lady Kaede had finally passed on last spring by the sounds of it, but Rin's not without shelter of course. She them all to support her; that talkative fox, those humans, plus InuYasha. Rin has a family now to replace the one she had lost; that should suffice. Sesshōmaru has told her that before, too. No matter the distance between them these days, their hearts are tied together, and he just wants what is best for her as she'll continue to grow into her own heart.

Though today, by sheer chance, he's not the _only_ visitor. Apparently that Koga-Demon has brought his quirky comrades to see them as well, along with his young cubs to show off.

Sesshōmaru reveals himself standing at the shadowy edge of the trees, close enough to catch Rin's eye yet remains far enough away to not frighten the cubs or the twins playing together. She turns and comes running up to him. She's laughing, holding a large yellow flower in her hand, and her whole scent is presently engulfed by _Wolf_.

Wasn't she once deeply fearful of beasts like them?

Koga's right-hand man watches her go with a little crooked smile and a gentle blush grazing his cheeks. Sesshōmaru can detect his Wolfblood heating up his body and his heart is fluttering in excitement.

"Milord!" She greets him just the same as always, her long free dark hair shining in the sun. She's completely unaware and quite flattered by the flower's existence. "Do you see what Ginta-san just gave me? He's sweeter than I remember. I think I've made a new friend."

And for all his control and confidence, Sesshōmaru does not exactly favor _that_ fact in particular. He has this urge to silently flex his claws at his side, but for his ward's sake, he'll never let it show.

"Yes. I see."

* * *

 **II. InuYasha**

At first, a bond between Rin and InuYasha had been virtually nonexistent. If anything, they were just _aware_ of each other. The _only_ thing they actually had in common back then was simply knowing Sesshōmaru.

It really...wasn't until she was physically left behind at their village by his elder brother, did InuYasha take a greater interest in Rin's wellbeing. Well, one, he figured if something awful happened to her after that, he'd be forced to face Sesshōmaru's wrath for it. And, secondly, Kagome had disappeared for a time. So InuYasha was somewhat at a lost while waiting for her to find a way back. He needed something else to do and Rin was a good candidate. The girl mentioned that she also prized Kagome as a friend despite Sesshōmaru's personal distain for them all. Kagome had a nurturing air about her according to Rin, and she had appreciated Kagome for that. She was a priestess Rin could certainly look up to.

So from that point of on, Rin and InuYasha became closer acquaintances through mutual respect for Kagome and their hopes of seeing her again. Meanwhile, Sango doted on Rin with all her sisterly heart; in comparison, Miroku stepped up to become Rin's surrogate father, using her as real practice for raising children after learning that Sango was finally pregnant herself.

InuYasha was there on the sidelines just the same, never quite leaving Rin's side either if he could help it. Though Rin could be hard on his ears at times, often dancing, singing to herself, and being just so—so rumbustious, and girlish, and so carefree. It made InuYasha wonder how _Sesshōmaru_ had tolerated her for so long if _he_ was having some trouble dealing with her antics. Besides that, there were nights when she'd tremble with night terrors and wake up _screaming_ , her cheeks red and stained with hot salty tears. InuYasha had to accommodate these things above everything else, keeping his patience in check, learning how to cradle her properly and lay her back to sleep when no one was could. That was fairly exhausting in itself when it happened. Nevertheless—displeasure grew into habit—and habit became fondness. In general, InuYasha hated the thought of Rin falling into harm's way. His human blood was gradually reaching out to hers and making a fresh connection. He could tell _she_ was starting to prefer his company in return. She never once feared his voice or his claws. Depending on the day and Rin's mood, he was either _InuYasha-sama_ or _InuYasha-nii-san_.

(One afternoon, Rin had outright confessed something to him she hadn't told _anyone_ before: she told InuYasha how much she missed having her six older brothers around, especially while living with the other villagers. He reminded her of them. Not even roaming the countryside with Lord Sesshōmaru had truly wiped that sorrow away. She said she was grateful for InuYasha's watchful eyes. He was like another bright, bold, fiery sun watching over her, and she adored having him nearby.)

Then, finally by some miracle, Kagome had returned. Things started to improve vastly for everyone. There was love, celebrations, words of kindness, plus their wedding. InuYasha had never seen Rin's smile grow so wide and joyous since then. By and by, Rin had definitely became one of _them_.

Rin has found her place among their pack, separate from Sesshōmaru, and currently, she and InuYasha treat each other no differently than any other human siblings would. She stands up for him just as much as he does for her, both of them having their chances to prove dedication and care for one another...though there's fun and a lot of teasing, too.

Nowadays, as young woman herself, Rin will regularly go scouting with InuYasha through the forests after Lady Kagome concludes their lessons for the day. Lady Kaede used to do the rounds with InuYasha before she died, then it was Sango-sensei who eventually became a mother, and Lady Kagome's pregnant with their firstborn already. So lately, the duty has been passed over to Rin. They carry out these inspections in order to protect their family and the village from danger...because even if Naraku's demise had brought them all a new sense of peace, that doesn't mean the remaining demons will ever _stop_ being demons. Demons have their own nature and Rin understands this more than most. There are still a few hungry beasts left in their world lurking in the shadows, willing to strike down innocents.

(And regrettably, there are still human wars being fought in neighboring countries too, by thieves and other vile men who wish to conquer land, rape women, and cause destruction. Same old story.)

True, Rin's no expert warrior, she'll be a healer one day she thinks—and she only knows how to swing a common sword if needed—but InuYasha takes her along anyway. He knows she's stronghearted, not unlike Sango was at that age, and that counts for something surely. When he will often compare an older Kagome to the pure light of the stars, InuYasha likes to compare Rin to the sheer break of day. Its horizon may get swallowed up by dark hours for a time and it might feel cold and far away, but it's still dependable, always wanting to shine again. The shadows can't contain its brilliant rays of light and song forever. That is Rin. A girl made of second chances and new beginnings.

It's the very start of the harvesting season and the heat is beginning to wane in these parts, leaving the treetops dark red and brown in its wake. The evening mist is just starting to settle in around them as Rin trails behind InuYasha, looking out for strange birds or demon tracks, with a cutting knife attached to her hip.

She doesn't notice any clear signs of danger today...that is...until, she takes one more step forward. She knows it happens as _soon_ as her right foot makes contact, ever so lightly pressing on it. She stops as she is, in mid-stride, with her arms held out for balance while minding the weight she's putting on that leg. On the inside, her stomach instantly twists in knots and she closes her eyes, biting her lip. She forbids herself to yelp or whine. She doesn't make any further noise for that matter, and now, she _won't_ move. She's not too sure if she should even _breathe_.

"Yo, since when are you so quiet?" InuYasha spins around, wondering why she's not right behind him anymore, and his mildly-annoyed expression soon melts into apprehension. "Hn?" He sniffs in, smelling her fear coming alive in her veins. He looks down and sees the problem.

This isn't good.

"I almost missed it." Rin wets her lips, muttering softly. "It's a spike pit trap, made for catching wild boar. I can feel how hollow it is underneath the covering. If I move my foot either way, I'll fall through from behind or face-first and get speared. And Jaken-sama used to warn me of these!"

InuYasha's at her side in a red flash but he knows better not to grab her. Not just yet. She's right...one wrong flinch, one shift in her footing, and she's mangled. He could possibly fall in with her if the ground concaves in. Hunting traps like these are delicate, touchy, and fatal if they're not handled correctly.

"I can't believe this," she panics, voice nearly shaking. "This is happening now? I'm such a fool!"

He knows what she means. The first change in the weather, such as now, marks the timeframe when Sesshōmaru will most likely come and visit her, bringing her his seasonal gifts. Four times a year. That's been the routine thus far, and now Rin's dreading it. How will her lord react knowing that a human-made trap of all things managed to damage her after all this time?

"Rin, you will be just fine. You hear me?" InuYasha's tone is gentle and stern. It grounds her, helping her to refocus on the present moment and nothing else. "You are not a fool. Believe me, I would know. You're surprisingly clever when you want to be. Kagome has taught you well enough and you've gained knowledge from two different worlds. Who else can say that? Now...think it through, Rin."

"Alright. Look for a large stone," Rin suggests finally, after a moment of inner reflection. She's starting to feel the strain in her muscles, unable to move out of position. They don't have much longer before she might involuntarily lose balance and the trap is set off. "Or a branch. Something that's solid and has a bit of weight to it."

"What for?"

"To disarm it!" She's almost shouting at him this time. "You can't go swinging Tetsusaiga around, now can you? Find a replacement for my weight, let it drop, then you pull me back!"

"Don't you at bark me!"

"InuYasha," she stresses, forgetting formal titles. " _Please_."

Inuyasha glances around the clearing, realizing it's useless. Too many leaves have fallen around here already—they're _everywhere_ , probably knocked down by the dirty people who made the trap to hide it better—and the soil is rather dark and damp, sucking the earthy things down with it, disguising any twigs or stone in sight. "Wait," he ponders. Of course! That's it! "Your knife."

"Miroku-sensei gave it to me!" Rin protests.

"He can buy you another one!" he growls back at her, nervous and impatient. They aren't going to waste time and argue like this! And so, without another fuss, his claws cut the leather cord in one hasty swipe, snagging her knife for himself, sheath and all. Tightly, he lifts the weapon higher by its broken strap, prepared to fling it down to the spot where her foot remains with force. "Alright. This is it, all or nothing." He holds her gaze. "Ready?"

Heaving in a huge breath, Rin braces for impact and she fears the unknown.

"Now!"

The knife is dropped, then, there's a loud _crack!_ of bamboo poles and Rin jumps aside. InuYasha's caching her simultaneously the moment the leaves give way. The hole is exposed, and all the dirt beneath her slides inward.

He leaps up with her latched on to him, landing safely upon a log nearby.

Observing the deadly pit for what it is, and what could have been her final death, InuYasha and Rin stand there, equally relieved. She's panting, heart racing. Her hand is still gripping his shoulder in gratitude, and he pulls her in for a quick side-hug, briefly tucking her under his chin. Rin allows it.

He leans back. "Are you alright?"

"I will be...," she swallows heavily and nods. "...Thank you, nii-san."

"Sure, kid. Let's get back home to Kagome now, eh? She's most likely wondering what's keeping us."

If Kagome finds out what happened here just now, she'd have a fit. Regular Lady Kagome is usually sweet and smart and passionate...though, Pregnant Lady Kagome can be rather intimidating and she's _not_ to be trifled with. Her motherly instincts have been on the rise, keeping her on high alert for any trouble. Just yesterday she even threatened to shoot an arrow at a wandering merchant who was bullying Shippō. The man laughed at the idea of a fox wearing clothes like a real boy and said a few other mean choice words. Kagome became so offended by his behavior and defended Shippō like her own cub by using her bow.

Rin giggles at him despite her rattling nerves. "Agreed."

Three days pass afterwards...and as Fate would have it, Sesshōmaru and Jaken arrive right on schedule, keeping track of the early moons of the harvest season. Rin had suspected they would. Shippō comes to fetch her that morning when she's eating with Lady Kagome. He informs her they'll wait for her outside. Excited, Rin hops to her feet straightway and disregards her bowl. But Kagome stops her at the door, insisting that she finish her breakfast first, and then she must get dressed appropriately.

"Rin is old enough to recognize that she can't just run off with her bare feet and uncombed hair whenever she likes to anymore—she's more woman now than she is a child and she has manners to remember in this village."

A little reluctantly, Rin obeys Kagome and politely asks Shippō if he's willing to tell her lord it'll be a little while yet. Gulping, Shippō sighs and says he'll try.

When she is full and pampered, Rin bolts outside, searching for Sesshōmaru and Jaken. She spots them lingering under the torii arch. Sesshōmaru is wearing red and black silks today. InuYasha is there as well, making sure nothing happens and everyone remains civil until they leave.

People passing by _are_ starting to stare at them, but she hardly cares about that. "Milord!"

"Rin," he acknowledges in turn, "are you well? Happy?"

"Yes, Milord, happy as to be expected." Rin reassures him, gracing him with a familiar brilliant smile. "Lady Kagome has taken it upon herself to teach me many more things...things like medicine and star names and my addition tables. She says my speech has even improved. I'm learning to read and write in three different dialects these days."

"That's impressive on your part."

"What?" Jaken squawks out then. "Our Rin can do all of that? I can't believe it!"

InuYasha grunts and crosses his arms with a sense of pride. "You'd be surprised what she'll think of, you old toad. Rin is rather clever when she wants to be. You have no idea."

Rin smirks knowingly, recalling the spike pit incident perfectly. Jaken blinks, gazing up at pretty teenage Rin who merely remains silent. She's practically _glowing_ at InuYasha's side. She nudges him playfully with her elbow, and InuYasha nudges back, sniggering. Acting like a couple of pups they were!

Though Sesshōmaru isn't fooled. He suddenly senses there's a secret. And it's growing more irksome than he cares for. His golden stare falls on Rin. "Is there something I should know about?"

InuYasha shrugs.

"No, Milord," she responds sweetly, unfazed, and she squares her shoulders. It isn't like Rin has ever been afraid of him or anything. "It's not important now."

Sesshōmaru's eyes narrow on instinct, not so convinced, but he won't press her further. She's obviously in a good mood and he shouldn't spoil that.

* * *

 **III. Kohaku**

The meaning of _home_ is still fairly foreign to him. His village settled near the river is simple, and its people are but humble fisherman, glad to have him serving as their personal Demon Slayer whenever danger arises; but to him, the huts were just wood and bamboo and iron. There are no memories for him to be fond of yet, so the rooms feel vacant some days, void of color and character.

That's when he starts to miss his childhood all over again and he wonders if it's time to take Kiara and ride back to Sango, if only for a day or two.

Beside his sister, Rin is always the happiest to see him again. She's not that shy with him anymore and will usually be the first to embrace him whether he's ready to catch her or not. It's both comforting and a little awkward for Kohaku to realize how _much_ he actually misses Rin each time he returns.

In her arms, he's suddenly at ease once more and he forgets the loneliness. For such a common girl, Rin has been blessed with this natural gift to lift spirits anytime she wishes to. In spite of all the evil things she's faced in the past, she is the warmth of the morning beaming through everyone's darkness.

For a moment longer, he'll indulge her. His arms fold around her waist and then she sort of just melts into him even though he's taller now and his chest is a bit broader. She pulls away, and they take each other in.

"You've grown," she smiles.

"So have you."

Coming of age, Rin might come off plain to many other men besides him, but in truth, Rin is beautiful. It's her will and her joy that makes her all the more attractive. In his opinion, she's the prettiest girl here. So she has few freckles trailing across her skin—they're charming, he thinks—and so what if she lets her hair down more often, that honestly never bothered him. And, really, why would other men ignore her? The other girls don't get to wear fine kimonos like _hers_. She stands out in a crowd and not in a bad way.

"And you have a beard!"

Kohaku rubs his fingers over his chin and he feels the slight prickle of hair there. "Fine," he teases. "If you want to call it that."

"Do you have a wife yet, Kohaku-kun?"

He's stunned, and nervous, and all he can do is laugh it off. "No. Don't be silly. There's still time for that. I'm merely a Demon Slayer still."

"Don't worry about that," she tells him. "You're brave, and handsome. I know that. Village girls love that in a husband."

"I...came to speak to my sister now, actually, but later on I can walk with you if you'd like. Maybe we can go fishing together."

"Kohaku-kun," her grin falters, fading at the corners of her mouth. She hates to disappoint him. "I—"

"—Rin."

They both glance over and see Lord Sesshōmaru waiting there, with clothes, provisions, and Ah-Un's saddle are all strapped into place upon the dragon's back.

"Coming." She nods before refocusing on her childhood friend. "I'll be...leaving with Sesshōmaru-sama now for a little while, Kohaku-kun. He's finally promised to show me his Empire built out in the west."

"I see," Kohaku blinks at the familiar Demon Lord, and nothing more. "I hope you two travel safely, then."

"Of course," Sesshōmaru replies without further reaction. But he does glare just a little too critically then for Kohaku's comfort. "I'll see to it that she gets there and back in one piece."

Kohaku must resist the instinct to clench his fists and let out a long sigh. And he returns a subtle glare of his own, a look that can tell Sesshōmaru his cynical remarks are completely unnecessary, because Kohaku remembers his place. He knows that he'll always be _second_. It does not matter how the days past by them and no matter how strong his individual friendship with Rin grows, her most cherished wishes and loyalties still lie with Sesshōmaru firstly.

Kohaku won't argue against this, never out loud. He won't be selfish and ask Rin to stay in a safe range just for his own happiness. If anyone truly deserves the grand experiences and luxuries of palace life and be treated like a real princess (even temporarily), it would be Rin.

* * *

 **IV. Jaken**

It's springtime, the rich sunlight spills over the sparkling waters, and it turns the green grass gold.

Dressed in her newest day kimono, Rin smiles broadly and scoops up Jaken in her arms, greeting him favorably. "Jaken-sama!" The Staff of Two Heads falls to the ground, forgotten. Being older and taller, Rin towers over Jaken now, and can easily manhandle and twirl the toad around as much as her heart desires.

Sesshōmaru watches them from a few a paces away.

"No, no, Rin. The Master's watching! Put me down this instant, you silly woman!" The toad croaks and screeches at her, but Rin pays no mind. "Why must you torture me so?"

Frankly, Sesshōmaru feels a twinge of satisfaction at the sight of Jaken being so flustered. Though it's fleeting. There's genuine human emotion shimmering in Rin's eyes, joy and relief, and he can't to fathom why. Honestly what's that glorious about Jaken? Jaken deems Rin to be insufferable, or, so he regularly claims... But Rin adores him, always has, unconditionally. She even went through a lot of stress and trouble to save Jaken's life once or twice. There were countless of times when he left those two alone together during the voyage to kill Naraku. Have they grown this close all along?

"Because you're my dearest friend, Jaken-sama!" That's her answer.

Jaken suddenly quiets down and slumps in Rin's hold, defeated. Sesshōmaru isn't sure what sorts of words to expect from Jaken in return, but it's there, he can tell. The feeling is mutual.

* * *

 **V. Jinenji (Humans)**

Jineji's mother dies when the first snow falls.

She _was_ human after all, getting older and older since they've last seen her. It's just part of a natural cycle: when there's life, there is death. All humans learn this lesson at some point; they mourn the dead but they adapt to their absence overtime, accepting it.

They receive the letter by falcon, telling them of the news which encourages the troop to pack up and travel east to the village of special herbs and crops. Sango and Miruko take their children and Rin by wagon, while Kagome rides half the time on InuYasha's back. Shippō himself is bigger, finally growing out of his baby fangs. He's almost just as fast as InuYasha is these days.

They expect to reach Jineji's by nightfall just in time to hold a proper burial for his mother in the morning, if the cold allows them to. Thankfully, they arrive safely and the village fires are already lit for them.

What they do not expect is Sesshōmaru showing up in the distant fields shortly after sunrise. He typically visits their homeland for Rin's benefit of course, the one human village he can actually stomach staying in, but InuYasha is somewhat baffled to learn his brother tracked their scent all the way _here_. He leaps off to meet him directly. "Wait. There's going to a human burial here, Sesshōmaru. So this might be the best time. Rin knew the old woman."

"I won't force her to do anything." The lord replies calmly. "But since I traveled to see her, it'd be bothersome to just turn back around now."

IunYasha scoffs. They had figured it would another week or so before Sesshōmaru would make his rounds and see her. "Hm, stand by if ya want then. Don't expect too much, though. Rin is here for Jineji's sake, not you. We had no idea you'd show up here like this."

Sesshōmaru glances back towards the troop as InuYasha begins to stroll off. He strains his ears to tune in. Rin's across the way, standing next to a large hanyou-creature looming there with his head down.

"Hello, Jineji," he hears Rin begin sweetly, folding her hands back, as if not to frighten the creature away even when he is four times her size. "Do you remember me?"

"Hhmm," the creature drones, bending closer to have a better look at her. He's charmed by her innocence. "Rin. You're the young girl who came looking for the healing flower. Demons don't frighten you much."

Rin smiles back at him gently and bows in gratitude, giving him her condolences. The creature extends its massive paw to her and without fear, Rin willingly wraps her whole hand around his finger to comfort him. Sesshōmaru isn't surprised. Rin may claim that she prefers demons to humans, though that doesn't stop her from being human. She knows how to make a connection, because her tender nature allows her to.

Then it hits him, an awareness. Humans create bonds easier than demons like him will. They're similar to pack animals and thrive better in groups. And humans are now the at center of Rin's life. Yes, he's thought this before—more out of annoyance than anything else—but now, it feels _tangible_. He sees it has the truth. All of those in InuYasha's circle, half human or plain human, will understand her in a way that he can't. They'll keep revolving around each other because that's just how it is for humans, and he'll always be on the outside looking in, never being a natural part of their orbit.

Rin starts to lead her friendly creature towards the others, her heavy-skinned feet stomping through the snow before his.

The monk gathers the children around the gravesite while his Demon Slayer wife brings trinkets and flowers to lay over the mound. Lady Kagome kneels appropriately to begin the prayers, and InuYasha lifts their pup to his shoulders. Rin and the hanyou creature take their places next to the young fox.

Rin's eyes lower and remain hooded throughout the ceremony and it wasn't long before Sesshōmaru smells tears. Sorrow. Sorrow that belongs to the creature, that belongs to Rin. She's trembling with a quiet sadness, moved by the prayers, perhaps by sad memories too. He thinks about what he can do in that moment...but, what? This is not his strong suit. It never is. Mourning over a personal loss is different for demons usually; it doesn't last as long, and it isn't _as_ crippling as it can be for humans. Most demons are stronger and immortal anyhow, so the odds of death is less likely. If one of them _does_ meet their demise, their clan just understands that there's no changing the past...there's only improving the future. What is, is what is. Sesshōmaru _had_ something felt something like regret when Wind Lady Kagura died, although again, that sensation passed after he thought Rin was gone forever. That was...the closest he has ever come to shedding real tears.

"Milord." Rin is strolling towards him now, eyes reddened but now dry, her voice soft. She stops briefly only to grant him a small bow. "Forgive me, I had to stay close to the houses for the burial. I didn't think you'd come to see me this soon."

"I understand." Sesshōmaru dismisses her apology, not finding it necessary. "If you need to grieve the old woman, then so be it."

In response, Rin gazes back to where Jineji is sitting. She's fond of him. "She was Jineji's mother. They were the ones who helped me find the location of the healing plant for Jaken's poisonous fever."

"I recall the incident."

"If it weren't for her and Jineji, I would've known where to find the flower. I would've lost Jaken, and it would have been my fault. I was really scared that time."

"Don't be silly," Sesshōmaru tells her. "Jaken was the one who got stung by the insects. He had no one to blame but himself."

"But I was the one he was trying to protect."

Sesshōmaru does not like that look at her. She deserves more. It's been a miserable day for them all and Rin's heart is clearly aching. A lengthy silence falls upon her and he has but one thing to really offer her. "Rin."

Her eyelashes flutter upward. "Yes?"

"Would you favor coming back to the West?"

"How long would I be able to stay, Milord?"

And as a compromise, Sesshōmaru just gives her the answer he normally did in the past, "You can do as you please."

Beneath her grief, gratitude starts to radiate from her. He notices the difference.

"I would love to, Milord."

* * *

 **No flames, please. Don't have time for that. In common courtesy, keep comments on a respectable or constructive level. Thank you!**

 **So, if anyone might've caught on...the moment between Rin and InuYasha in the forest is loosely based on the scene in _Teen Wolf_ when Lydia steps into the steel animal trap and Stiles has to disarm it.**

 **And honestly I personally tend to think the relationship between InuYasha/Kagome and Rin/Sesshomaru is actually all connected and four-fold. There's a lot of metaphors going on there. InuYasha represents the sun, Rin is the dawn, Sesshomaru is the moon, and Kagome is the stars.**


End file.
